Chest Port Surgery and 2nd chemo treatment! (1/31/2011)

Yes, it is another surgical procedure, but I am finally getting the PICC line out of my arm so I am happy!!!!

This contraption was added so that they could utilize the PICC line for my chest port surgery before removing it.   I thought it looked kinda cool!

And here is my precious Mama.   She was right there with me, as always.  I love you, Mama!   What is that black brace on her arm, you ask?   Well, that is a brace helping her to heal from breaking her wrist at Christmas.  Ah, and I will be posting more about that later.  She was such a trooper.  We were a pair during this time, let me tell you!!!  :)

The finished product pre-chemo.   I had the surgical procedure in the morning and went for chemo that afternoon.   The surgeon, Dr. Brown, had already accessed the port during surgery and covered it so that it would be stable for my second treatment (the first with the chest port).  You can see in between the bandages a little purple line.   That purple line is the catheter which runs from my chest just below my collar bone/clavicle up into my jugular vein and then continues onto just above the opening to my heart.

This is me, my new chest port and hooked up to my chemo.   Again, another long day. 

PICC LINE for first chemo treatment! (1/17/2011 Martin Luther King Day)

My PICC line in my right arm.  Because there is a long wait for my chest port surgery, I had to get a PICC line in my right arm for my first chemo treatment.   Trust me, having had both now.......if you find yourself in a similar circumstance and having to make a choice between a PICC line or a chest port-------CHOOSE THE CHEST PORT!!!!  The PICC line has to be flushed with heparin daily and the dressing has to be changed weekly.   The chest port (once the incision has healed) had to be flushed with heparin and saline monthly, it is inside located your body so nothing hanging out that you have to worry about snagging on something and you can bathe without fear of getting it wet and causing an infection.

The PICC line was located on my right arm on the medial side of my arm just above the elbow.  It was perfectly positioned so that my "right girl" constantly hit it.  To say that it was a challenge is an understatement, but I persevered.   I only had the PICC line for two weeks but it seemed like much longer than that.  Needless to say, when I see a poor soul with one in the ATC Unit (where I receive my chemo at MDACC), I feel the need to talk with them and let them know that someone else knows what they are going through!

My first chemo.  I think this pic says it all.   ICK.  This pic was actually taken at the hospitalaity gathering place on the second floor where families and cancer patients get coffee and cookies and set a spell.  There are chairs, recliners and couches there.  You can always tell who the cancer patients are  because we occupy most of the recliners and couches.  I was so sick with my first chemo, I actually laid down on a couch in front of probably 100 people and countless people walking by gaping.....and I didn't care.   I couldn't have cared less if I was being stared at or not.  That was a long day, indeed.

Here is the PICC line is all it's glory!!  There were two lines on it just in case one was not enough for the medication and treatment.  the little purple airplane looking thingee is the catheter which was threaded into my deep vein my arm up around my shoulder and down to just above the opening to my heart.  The catheter looked like it was two feet long.  It was purple too.  I told the nurses that I was an SFASU student and that our school color was purple!!  GO JACKS!!    Anyway, you can see how this would be terribly uncomfortable.  You have heard the old saying, "This too shall pass."   Well, it did, happily, it did.  :)

THE DEMON BED!!!!!!!!!

After surgery and after getting to my room, I was settling into my hospital bed and getting used to my pain pump of which I loved.....this beautiful invention of a pain pump of which I could self administer my pain meds through my i.v. every eight minutes by simply pushing a button.  Had great nurses and hospital staff on that night that were very attentive.  My mother was with me and ready for the long haul.  Awesome right?

My surgeons were more than happy with the outcome of my surgery and even more happy with my progress after surgery.  They couldn't believe how well I came through the surgery and how I well I was recovering after surgery.  Again......awesome right???

It only took about 30 minutes to realize that I was laying on A DEMON BED!!!!!!!

This bed actually either inflated or deflated at specific points up and down my entire body EVERY FIVE SECONDS.   I am not kidding......every FIVE seconds.  There are 60 seconds in a minute, 60 minutes in an hour and 24 hours in one day.  I spent five days in the hospital which means, this demon bed actually inflated and deflated enough times to make any sane person crazy!!!  No, I didn't get bed sores but I could've easily shot this bed if I had had  a gun!!!  Yes, I said it!   :)

Every time I had to get up to use the bathroom (which was often because of all of the i.v. fluids going into me), I had to push and pull myself up to the side of the bed. which even with the help of my Mama, took me almost a half a minute to a minute to negotiate. What did the Demon Bed do each and EVERY time I did this, you ask?   Well, let me tell you.  It would inflate and deflate in all the wrong places.   You could hear it inflating and deflating as if it was taking great pleasure in torturing me!!  HAHA   Trust me, it wasn't funny at the time, at least to me.  I think my Mama and the nurses got a kick out me and the Demon Bed from time to time.   :)    

Sufficith to say, I was never so glad to get out of that Demon Bed and come home.  I even took a picture of that bed for posterity's sake.  You will see that in my pics from the colosn resection surgery.  

The colon resection surgery......AAARRRGGGHHHH!!! (Surgery 12/6/2010)

Pre-surgery

Mama and me, pre-surgery

Oh my!  Right after surgery.  I was hurting and high as a kite.

You can really see me in the stratosphere here!  :)

OWWEEE!  That there is 27 staples, in my tummy, folks!  YIKES!!!!

These are the lovely compression pumps I had to wear on my legs after surgery.    Coupled with the demon bed and it's antics........it was an experience! 

The Demon Bed.    This thing caused me so much anxiety and frustration during my hospital stay..........YOU JUST DON'T KNOW!!!!!  Hated this thing with a passion, so much so that I called maintenance to come disconnect electricity from it but they refused.   There will be a longer post about this torture device later.   :)

The second i.v.   The first one blew my vein and had to be replaced.  Ouch!  Notice the band-aid on the back of my hand.  This was the location of my first i.v.    Question:  When  you have been cut above the belly button down to your pubic bone through skin, fat, muscle and other soft tissue to get to your colon and then stitched inside and stapled outside back together, do you know what parts of your body you use most and the most pressure is applied each and every time you try to move???   That is right, your hands.   Why on God's green earth the nurse put the i.v. in my hand, I will  never know.  Obviously, she was just preparing me for surgery and not thinking past it to recovery.   Needless to say, when it busted the vein and a big knot starting coming up on the back of my hand (the i.v. fluid leaking into my arm), I freaked out.  So, you now see the second location of the i.v.   This was so much better!!  Never had another problem with it after that!

I AM ALIVE!  I MADE IT!!!!  I am more with the world here.  :)  Just so happy to be alive.  Thank you, God!

Me prancing around the GI surgery floor on my Delottid and pain pump in my stomach.  Yeah, I was in pain but not a whole lot UNTIL the meds stopped.  Then, OMG!!  I know, I am absolutely post-surgery gorgeous.   Look at my pink houseshoes coupled with my compression stockings.  They really set off my hospital gowns!!!    Don't hate me because I am beautiful!  HAHA 

It is funny, the other surgical patients and I would "race" each other in our nurse directed "walks" around the surgical floor.  If you could have been a fly on the wall!!!!   We were literally like snails.  But, under the circumstances that some of us found ourselves, dealing with a newly diagnosed cancer and surgery, well, let's just say, the "races" and the laughter that insued was priceless and it and the people I met during that time will never be forgotten by me.     One man in particular comes to mind......he had just had pancreatic surgery for yes, you guessed it, pancreatic cancer.  He was hurting badly.  Wasting away due to nausea and vomiting.  I asked him if he wanted to "race".  He looked at me like I was absolutely a nut and said to me "NO, I don't want to race."   So, I told him to let me know if he changed his mind, smiled and walked away.   I saw my nurse and starting chatting with him since Delottid is a wonderful social drug!  I was Ms. Social Butterfly of the GI Surgical floor that week!  HAHA   I had stopped talking with my nurse when I saw Mr. Pancreatic Cancer round the corner going about .1 miles per hour.   It took him a good minute to get to where I was standing.  As he approached me, his disapproving look from before had all but vanished and a mischevious smile replaced it!!!  He stopped only for a brief moment and whispered in my ear, "Ok, NOW I want to race!", and he took off like a bat out of hell which after a GI surgery is about .1 mph!!!!  The race was on!!!!  We laughed and giggled and tried to out "run" each other.   Smiles were abounding if only for a few minutes.   I had made a friend.  That was the only time we had the opportunity to "race."   The day after his door remained closed the whole day.  On one of my many "walks" I stopped his wife and inquired about his condition.  "He isn't doing well,"  she said.  His health was declining and when I was discharged, he was very near death from what I gathered.  I said a  prayer for him and his family.  He couldn't have been more than mid-fifties if that.  For a moment, we shared smiles, joy, laughter and fun.  I will never forget him or what we shared.  I consider him one of my many MDACC Angels! 

My precious Mama, Alti/Toni, after a VERY long week in the hospital.  She NEVER left my side.  I love her so very much!!!  Believe me, I am not the best patient either!!  Thank you, Mama!!!!!

Finally, going home.  Now the recovery really begins minus 24 hour i.v. pain meds. 

This was a little glimpse of the colon resection surgery via pics.  More later.  

Overwhelming feelings and writer's block!

I know it has been a while since I have posted anything on my blog.  (big sigh)  Sufficith to say, I became more than a little overwhelmed by the experiences and feelings that I was having during the past few weeks and was unable to put those into words.  Perhaps, now, the words will flow more freely. 

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas and Surgery! :)

Well, today is THE day that we leave for Houston for my surgery.  We will be leaving in an hour or so.  (big sigh)   I have to admit that my anxiety level is increased this morning.....now where is that xanax????  I pray and cry every five minutes or so it seems and probably will continue to do so all day.   And for those of you who know about the colon cleanout process.....well, let's just say I will be occupied in another sense for the rest of the day too, but we won't get into that here.


I think the absolute hardest thing for me to do is to leave Jared during this week.  I love him so much.  I want to protect him and make sure that he is okay with all of this cancer stuff.  I have given him extra hugs and kisses and I love you's.  He knows in his heart that I love him with all of mine.  Hopefully, that will help to ease his own fears about this process we are about to go through.


We put our Christmas tree up last night.  All the while, we listened to and sang along to Christmas songs, drank hot chocolate using my precious Aunt Phyllis's recipe.   Bruce Springsteen's "Santa Claus is coming to town" really got us in the Christmas tree trimming mood, let me tell you!!  


Afterwards, we met my beautiful sister, Anita Kay downtown for the Christmas parade and fireworks.  That was fun.  Jared was grinning from ear to ear.  We then came home and I cooked Jared his favorite supper-time meal of which included pancakes, sausage and scrambled eggs.  He loves to have breakfast for supper.  :)


We had a GREAT Saturday!!!  Now, it is "get down to business" time.  Thank you to Denny (Danita), Jeff and Misty and Aunt Anita Kay and Uncle Dody for taking care of Jared this week for me.  I love you all and appreciate it greatly!  


Gonna hit the road in just a bit.  Thank you all for your prayers.....keem 'em coming.   I am putting my faith and trust in God that HE will take care of me and protect me, Jared and my family throughout this week and with the rest of my journey.   Moonbeam love to you all!!!!  


  

Final pre-op visit today!

My mom and I are two weary travelers this evening.   We thought we were going to be home "early" today, say like right after lunch.   NOT!!!   The reason is that I had to have some extra x-rays today after my extremely thorough Anesthesia Consult.  Wow.......we were IMPRESSED!!!!  After the consult, my mom and I felt so much more at ease about the surgery.   One of the most experienced Anesthesiologists came in to meet us and he, without prompting, told us that my surgical oncologist was an excellent surgeon.  He said that he had worked with Dr. Feig for years and he has had only on a very rare occasion any complications with surgery or anesthesia.  WHEW!!!!!  What a relief that was to hear!!!

I received all of my instructions, the time to report to the hospital which is BEFORE DAYLIGHT!! They won't have to give me much sedation because I will still be asleep!!  HAHA   

I am feeling good about the surgery.   I am feeling hopeful about the outcome.   I am still praying hard and would appreciate all of you to continue praying for not only me but my son, Jared, and my family.  WE WILL GET THROUGH THIS!!!!

I also got my colon cancer paraphanelia in today.  It includes car magnets and bracelets.   My 71 year old,  precious Daddy is wearing a "Cancer Sucks" blue bracelet on his wrist!  I was amazed he even agreed to put it on.  This made me smile.  I got a car magnet which is in the shape of a blue ribbon (colon cancer) for all of my siblings.  I also got small car magnets for me:  leukemia (orange), brain cancer (gray), liver cancer (green), melanoma (black), and pancreatic cancer (purple).    

Why you ask?? 

Colon cancer is for me, obviously.  

My baby brother Jeffery, was diagnosed with leukemia (ALL) when he was 17 years old.  He was up against some really tough odds but he won his battle.  He is fourteen years out in remission!!!!  They said he would never become a father because of all of his chemo but by the grace of God, he is the proud father of three beautiful daughters and a son is on the way!!!!  My brother Brad said it best recently.   Brad wrote: "My brother Jeff was almost lost to us because of leukemia a few years back. Even with death breathing down his neck, he never gave up and never became negative because of it."  Jeffery is an inspiration because he remained the utmost optimist throughout a long 2 year battle with an acute form of leukemia that could have easily killed him.   And he is still an optimist!

My beautiful cousin, Melissa Rene', was diagnosed with brain cancer one month after she graduated from college.  She battled hard for almost eight years.  Her doctors only gave her six months to live when they diagnosed her originally. Boy, was she a fighter!!!  She lost her fight with brain cancer just one month after she turned 33.  I miss her so much!  It still hurts to this day to know she isn't on this earth anymore.  Do you know that I never, and I mean NEVER, heard her complain about her cancer, her not feeling well, her losing all of her hair, etc.   SHE ALWAYS HAD A SMILE ON HER FACE!!!!  When people would ask her how she was feeling, she would say "With my fingers and toes, and you?"  She handled herself with such grace throughout her entire ordeal.  I know she must have had the same thoughts cross her mind that have crossed my mind.  I know she had to have been scared out of her mind at times and she had to have cried and had her breakdown moments.....just like me.    I know this.......NOW.   I aspire to be like Missy.  What an incredible example she set for me.   I can only hope to be as graceful, strong and determined as she throughout my own journey.

Sam, a very dear friend of mine, died last year on my birthday.   He lost his battle with liver cancer.  On that day, he was surrounded by his wife, children, grandchildren and close friends at home, just like he wanted.  He was a man's man to the end.  More than that, he was an incredibly loving, loyal and faithful husband, father, grandfather and friend.  And oh, that laugh of his!!!!  Contagious, I tell ya!  HE was the epitomy of strength and dignity. 

Kim, my favorite sister-in-law, is currently battling melanoma.   This chick, let me tell you is nothing short of an inspiration!  After finding out she had cancer, she has finished her bachelor's degree while working full-time.  She and my brother became the proud parents of an absolutely gorgeous daughter, Jillian who is now four months old AND GET THIS......Kim is receiving her Masters Degree this next Saturday.  See, I told you she was an inspiration!!!!  She is still battling but she is also an incredible example of  living her life to the fullest!   The Big C sure isn't slowing her down!!!!!  :)

My Uncle David battled pancreatic cancer for two years before succombing to this absolutely horrible cancer.  In spite of everything he endured, I never saw him frown.  Not once.  He was so sick for so long but never refused visitors and always had a smile on his face, even knowing what he was facing.

All of these very special people who are/were so instrumental and important parts in my life have all been affected by cancer.  I know that I am not the first and probably won't be the last.  I feel so blessed to have had the opportunity to love them, share their struggles with them and learn from them.   They have all helped prepared me for tTHIS moment in my life and the challenges that I am currently facing.   I know that Missy, Sam and Uncle David are with me in spirit and helping to guide me.   Jeffery and Kim are both here to help keep me in the present and help me to remember to live one precious day at a time.    And what a truly fabulous day it is!!!

Now, I am going to get a good night's sleep in my own "comfty" bed.   :)   Moonbeam love to you all!!!!!